There are various reasons why you might not currently be a confident networker. There may be opinions that were passed on to you as a child that you have always lived by. "Children should be seen and not heard" so you don't think your point of view matters to other people. When you go into a networking event - or probably any environment where you are expected to talk to other people - you feel uncomfortable because you aren't used to putting yourself forward.

Perhaps you were taught to be modest and not "to brag" so you don't feel comfortable about telling people how good your products and services are - particularly if it's a service that you are personally responsible for delivering so you are actually telling people how wonderful you are.

You may have been told as a child "don't speak to strangers" and yet now you're expected to go into a room full of complete strangers and talk to them straight away without getting a chance to check them out.

You might have had difficulty at school and been made to feel stupid so you don't like to be the centre of attention. Niggling thoughts come into your mind that you'll make a fool of yourself again, even though this is a completely different situation.

If you were bullied at school you could find it especially difficult to trust people who you don't know because you're worried other people are out to get you or put you down. Your mind is trying to protect you from being hurt again.

Women who have been patronised by men in the past may expect it from every man they meet so feel uncomfortable when they network with men. Some men are uncertain of how they should interact with women because they're not used to socialising with them or they are frightened of saying the wrong thing and being branded as sexist.

So there are lots of reasons why networking can be nerve wracking. It's not surprising that many people don't network, even though they are aware it would be beneficial for their business. It's important to remember that what happened in the past is in the past and you're no longer a small child being taught other people's standards, at school learning something you're not interested in, nor with children who think it's fun to bully someone else.

Start to think about people differently - yourself included. If you are comfortable with yourself then it doesn't matter what other people think of you. That doesn't mean that you couldn't care less, it just means that you can put things into proportion. You can't be liked by everyone but if the people you like like you then that's a good starting point. And if you set out to like something about everyone then you will find it much easier.

If you do feel snubbed, patronised or unimportant it may be your perception and interpretation of the event that causes you to feel like that and is not what the other person intended at all. Perhaps you thought their smile wasn't genuine enough. Perhaps they broke off to talk to someone else because it was their only chance before the other person hurried away. Perhaps they remind you of someone you don't like so you instantly judge them. Think about what makes you feel uncomfortable and see if you can understand why.

The reason you want to network is to increase people's awareness of your company and to get more business. To do that it's important to realise that what you do is important to other people and is worth talking about. People like to think they're getting the best option for them, not something that's mediocre. If no one knows about your company you are doing them a disservice as well as yourself. They may need what you have to offer and by meeting you you have made their life easier.

So, distance yourself from that child who was told to think or the child who was made to feel stupid or was bullied. You are a different person now. Those events are a part of your past that will have an effect on you, but you don't have to do things the same for ever. Think about yourself as you are now, a successful business person or a business person who is just starting out but who will be successful thanks to all the contacts you will make at networking events.