Networking is like exercising. We all know it's good for us, but most of us don't like it. Even the excuses are similar: " I don't have enough time, I'm not good at it, I don't get anything out of it, it's just not for me, I'm doing fine without it, everyone else is judging me, I don't know how to get started, and I don't like getting all sweaty (for those who get nervous talking to strangers)."

And yet, because even if one of our excuses is that "it's not good for ME", secretly we know that networking would be good for us, so we feel guilty about not doing it and develop even greater excuses to avoid it. If something is voluntary, we'll avoid it if it makes us feel bad.

In our defense, modern life really does make it difficult. We are extremely time-crunched. We're saturated with too much information - much of it junk. Our companies and our businesses demand more out of us sometimes just to keep the doors open, and we have an expectation of adults in our society that we won't have a learning curve. We're supposed to be an expert at whatever we try right away. This last constraint has caused many people an awkward experience - and serious pain when applied to exercise.

For those few who love exercise, it's as easy for them as lacing up a pair of running shoes and heading out the door. They make the time, they have a goal and it becomes part of their routine. And for maybe the even fewer who love to networking, it's as easy for them as grabbing a handful of business cards. They work it into their schedule, they know it's going to be beneficial, and it becomes a habit for them.

Do these people have a leg up on the rest of us because they are naturally athletic, naturally sociable, etc? Sometimes. But just because you're lean and have endurance doesn't mean you go out, buy a racing bike, and become Lance Armstrong. And just because you like people and enjoy socializing doesn't mean you go out, join the chamber, and become Harvey Mackay. It takes some planning, strategy, and even a few ways of tricking yourself into doing what you know you want to do.

How do you plan for success with an environment like this? It takes three steps:

1. Discover any mindsets, misconceptions, or false beliefs that are holding you back.

With networking, this may mean that you have a negative mindset about it which means you look for (and of course find) what you dread. Events are boring, people try to sell you, and you never get any benefit. Of course you don't benefit when you attend with dread in your heart. Imagine what an ideal networking experience would be like. If you hold that image, keep that vision in front of your mind, and expect a positive result, you'll be amazed at the difference in your experience.

2. Remove the obstacles

Make it as easy as possible to do what it takes to be successful in networking. With exercise, this may mean purchasing a treadmill so you can run when it's cold and laying out your shoes and running clothes ON the treadmill to reduce any resistance. For networking, this may include writing it on your calendar in ink, inviting a friend, and clearing your calendar so that all excuses are eliminated, reduced, and avoided.

3. Keep at it long enough to see results

As with exercise, we usually don't give networking enough time to see results. One exercise session is like to only make you stiff the next day. It certainly won't create any lasting effects. Fortunately, networking CAN have an immediate effect - you might get lucky and find someone who happens to need your product or service. But for a regular stream of connections and referrals, you'll need to make regular appearances and keep in touch with your contacts.

Conclusion

Networking is like any other activity: first we have to get over our mental resistance and any ways that we are avoiding it through negative thinking. Next, we have to make it as easy as possible for ourselves to do it by removing as many obstacles as possible. Finally, we have to be patient; results take time. With this three-step plan, we can become successful at networking.


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